I haven’t had it easy for so long, since a child really. So much has occurred and so much so it’s hard to get your head around how someone at 28 years old can experience so much in such s short space of time. But that’s reality, what is normal, who is perfect?There are genuine families who suffer day in and day out, there cis people across the world who hasn’t experienced half that I have and although I have that in mind, there is still people in the world without a roof over their head and walking bare foot to find clean drinking water. It’s not about the rich or poor, the good and bad, we are all equal, we are one, after all we are only human.
I feel the world is on my shoulders, I was neglected, bullied, abused psychically, emotionally, mentally and sexualy, I’ve a series of mental health issues and I’ve a father who turned out to be a paedophile and I’ve carried the guilt of others for years, I feel like I’m being punished and that both above and below are out to get me. The nightmares keep me awake and I Slovak the bed in urine, my family home was attacked in an arson attack leaving my family and I homeless for a year living from hostel to hostel and today I lay on my bed in s pscytracric ward as a patient, somewhere I use to work myself. I feel lost and empty and despite the years of confusion, I found myself comfortable with a man, who allowed me to be me, myself because for so long I didn’t know who I was. Whatever I’ve experienced during my 28 years of my life, I didn’t s d still don’t deserved however if I was to change it for all the money on the world, it turn it down because of that man who found me and allowed me to find who I truly am and the smallest things in life I appreciate so much; his breath, the sound of his heart and him, him in general.
This song has become one of my favourite songs and forever it will remind me for what I went through and achieved someone something very special; that being true love.
To the friends and family struggling whether it’s something stupid or not, to those who love yet each other and try, to those struggling and fighting against mental health issues, those poor and sore, those ill and dying keep strong and remember you are not alone, work towards the good, fight the bad off if you have to and it doesn’t happen overnight, but with determination and a soul willing to take whatever life thoughts at you, accept, it, challenge it’s, walk pass it and smile. I dedicate this song to you all.
– James Keenan