Behind blue curtains here I lay,
There’s no interaction and nothing to say.
With help from Nurses, Consultants and Psychiatrist too,
The more I sit and think, the more I feel blue.
It’s a hospital i’m at and i’m here for help,
despite their efforts, they makes me want to use my belt.
I still hurt and worry and mostly sit scared,
I just want to be normal, I just want to be heard.
I ask myself why, I even question me,
The more I think, I just want to be left be.
My mind isn’t focused and struggling to concentrate,
I’m just a burden and adding more weight.
I’m crying sore every day and night,
my hopes are zero with no future in sight.
Blurry eyes, drugged and sedated,
Fighting my struggles and feeling hated.
To say I feel great, would be a lie,
When really, I’m hurting and want to die.
I’ve got my Partner, Mum and Sisters for support,
Despite what I have, I harm to distort.
It’s difficult to imagine and even harder to speak
With my best efforts buried, my eyes only leak.
The more I’m trapped, my pain worsen,
I just want to be better and feel a normal person.
So I ask myself why, why me, why was I chosen?
The answer I get fills me with hurtful emotion.
I’m locked here, sat in front of this blue curtain.
Can I guarantee my future, I’m not very certain.
Hospitalised and unfortunately sectioned,
Im trying my best to find the right direction.
I’m hard sore and done with crying,
my heart aches as i’m slowly dying.
So this is me, this is me currently,
In hope for a future set with clarity.
Despite my hope and one thing for certain,
It’s just going to be me and this blue curtain.
– James Keenan