I’ll now tell you a little tale about a boy so young, fragile and frail. I hate myself, I took the blame, living in shame.
Emotions fill with the words I write, chills down my spine and a blurry sight.
You took your insecurities and made them my own, it’s your face that still haunts me, especially when i’m alone.
I could only see your shades of grey when I was with you when you made me stay.
You told me you wouldn’t hurt me and you did still, I was hurting as my eyes began to fill.
Before me you stand, your movements echo the empty room, you lean over me with a pose as you begin to groom.
Reluctant to take part and force applied, I’m scared and shaken as my hands are tied.
You used me, you abused me, you stripped away my pride. You took no acknowledgement of the hurt I tried to hide.
Wondering when it will stop, I sat vacant and fragile, asking myself is this normal or am I going senile.
I often thought of running away or stepping onto the busy road, my future seemed so black and dim at only eleven years old.
This isn’t what life should be, where did it all go wrong? Something brave inside, makes you stay, but you don’t know for how long.
After the abuse, the threats occurred, the warnings of his actions where not to be heard.
Everything was made out to be fun and games, despite the consequences, I was plagued with gifts and never short of expenses.
No matter how safe I am or what anyone said, you could be gone from the world, but you’ll forever be at the back of my head.
I close my eyes and you still haunt me, an image I struggles to bare. I hate that you still surround me, even though you’re not there.
I’ve found my voice and I don’t know how, you’ve played with my head for too long now.
I’m bigger, better and braver too, you’re gave me problems and its down to you.
I’m now an adult and you’re the guilty one. I hope you get whatever comes to you, because I won!
– James Keenan